I am writing to vent out my feelings and to give everyone the full story (from my perspective) of what happened at ONSU station at 9.10 in the morning of yesterday (Wednesday, May 30, 2007).
as we (Manda, Pinpaka, nay tun) were chatting and waiting for our male classmates, something happened. nay tun and i were sitting fronting the opposite platform, Pinpaka and Manda on the other side. since a train just passed by there were only less than five people waiting on the opposite side for the next train to come, but the next one is not stopping at Onsu. i remember one man carrying a plastic bag with a checkered jacket, could not remember very much how he looks though.
then the next train from the other side comes which was moving fast, i stood up but saw from my peripheral vision that someone just jumped to the rail track and i asked nay tun what just happened but he just uttered oh, oh oh, many times and when i looked back at the train that is still moving, one pair of black shoe was flying above the train and fell down just a few yards where we were standing.
nay tun confirmed that a man indeed jumped into the train track. when the train stopped , we can see the body under the train, i saw from afar the checkered jacket protruding a little bit from one of the wheels of the train. Nay Tun, Pinpaka and Manda went nearer to see and people started to gather and saw some of them making phone calls.
as we (Manda, Pinpaka, nay tun) were chatting and waiting for our male classmates, something happened. nay tun and i were sitting fronting the opposite platform, Pinpaka and Manda on the other side. since a train just passed by there were only less than five people waiting on the opposite side for the next train to come, but the next one is not stopping at Onsu. i remember one man carrying a plastic bag with a checkered jacket, could not remember very much how he looks though.
then the next train from the other side comes which was moving fast, i stood up but saw from my peripheral vision that someone just jumped to the rail track and i asked nay tun what just happened but he just uttered oh, oh oh, many times and when i looked back at the train that is still moving, one pair of black shoe was flying above the train and fell down just a few yards where we were standing.
nay tun confirmed that a man indeed jumped into the train track. when the train stopped , we can see the body under the train, i saw from afar the checkered jacket protruding a little bit from one of the wheels of the train. Nay Tun, Pinpaka and Manda went nearer to see and people started to gather and saw some of them making phone calls.
i just kept walking back and forth to the platform and was throwing up but since we had no breakfast yet, nothing is coming out except the bitter and acidic taste of my own saliva. i was in tears and a little bit shaking like crazy. passengers from the train that stopped and those embarking from the other train were probably looking at my unusual reaction. but it was my first time and probably for Manda, nay tun and Pinpaka as well, but maybe my classmates have a stronger stomach than i do. i must admit am too emotional and i would even cry at a mushy movie so how much more when you witness a person commits suicide.I just wondered now how i managed to stay working in two human rights organization when i have seen worst than what I've seen yesterday.
Anyhow, help came after 10-15 minutes. Badrul called that their train is near Onsu. i called the others and informed them that we need to get to the next approaching train. I asked Pinpaka to take a photo of the shoe but she replied that she cannot do that because that is evidence. I told her that i do not need the shoe itself but just the photo of it and she laughed and i did also after she realized what i meant. that broke the ice. i came to my senses a little bit and asked nay tun to take the photo of the particular car of the train where the dead man's body was lying.
the men's train arrived and we all got in. we move from one car to the other to find Badrul, BonoNur. as we were moving inside the train, many questions crossed my mind. Who was that man? why did he jump? was he alone? does no one cares for him? does he have relatives? does he have identification cards?. questions as bizarre as, was it really a sudden death or did he feel pain? is his body intact or cut into pieces? does it take a lot of courage to do that or was it cowardliness? and many more questions that i just kept to myself.
we had a very small discussion on the train about that scene and then silence until we met the person who was waiting for us at Mongwha station.am sure that experience will continue to affect me for the few next days.
yesterday was really a baaaaad day for me, but maybe for that man, it was a good day to die.who knows?
see you in campus,
Jessi
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